http://www.albany.edu/offcourse 
         http://offcourse.org
         ISSN 1556-4975

A journal for poetry, criticism, reviews, stories and essays published by Ricardo and Isabel Nirenberg since 1998
I prefer the architecture of bones.
         I do not love the flesh, the meat
         and muscle, the dot dot dot of bruises, 
         this sac and its endless folds. 
         Take it away and leave me with the clack, 
         such shapes unyielding.
How greenery would twine and wind,
         find purchase in the climb among ribs.
         How weather would sift through me, 
         plum clouds, cataracts of rain, ribboned  wind.
No need to stretch the truth for where
         does it hide, my self, my raggedy self 
         that fears the blue gush and lung suck.
         Never a comfort of skin,
         I would be but a bone dancer,
         singular, separate. Nothing now hidden,
         no speck, no creeping life form intent 
         on sweet decay, just skeletal essence. 
Green for sale, no,
         green as the sell,
         sold and then emptiness.
What do the stems carry?
         How many leaves? Soon enough 
         they are brown and dead.
Buy something living,
         keep it so. Paint it green
         or breathe green into its lungs.
If the tree is willing,
         if the saw is ready and the hand
         holding it, wavering.
The green, gone,
         here and away, up high
         and down near our feet, soft.
Take this green and give me
         an object. Needed
         falsely but what pretend.
Green dimming to sea,
         to what is held and passed,
         to purchase, buffeted, spent. 
Why aren’t the screams audible?
         How is it there is such a remove,
         our cognizance and sympathies?
         Little bits of the world break off
         hurtling into space. Resignation,
         a crusty gray blanket pulled over our heads
         keeps out more than light, keeps out
         the imponderable.   Returning 
         to dust, is there joy in that journey?
         How many details can we concoct?
         Like it or not, the blue breaths 
         of the dying will shed their wings.
         Progress is nine-tenths of the law.
         For some, there is the luck of the draw.
         Others stumble, night after night,
       season of fever, season of ice.
Gust and gather,
         the barren trees scrabble
         like aunts in a frenzy.
         Such is the dark season
         wound around bones.
         No blue sky sneaks out
         as we keep our heads down,
         our fingers tapping, telling
         ourselves stories of wide, green fields.
I wake into stalled confusion, only
         the fogged light a clue. If the vast plain of night
         cracks apart too soon, dread will brim and surround.
         Too many hours still to be navigated
         without sleep’s balm, curl of oblivion.
         In the morning gauze, before the world
         is stirring, no need yet to accept
         the slump from bed, the chill, time’s vacuum.
         No sure prescription, the long and short of it. 
         The raggedness lies next to you, sometimes
         touching your skin, sometimes
         a small, safe distance away. 
Mercedes Lawry has been publishing poetry for over thirty-five years in such journals as Poetry, Natural Bridge, Nimrod, and Saint Ann’s Review. She has published two chapbooks - “There are Crows in My Blood” and “Happy Darkness” and received honors from the Seattle Arts Commission, Jack Straw Foundation, Artist Trust and Richard Hugo House, been a Pushcart nominee twice and held a residency at Hedgebrook. She has also published short fiction as well as stories and poems for children.