http://www.albany.edu/offcourse 
         http://offcourse.org
         ISSN 1556-4975

A journal for poetry, criticism, reviews, stories and essays published by Ricardo and Isabel Nirenberg since 1998.
      
Jesse Van Antwerp, gentle dowager,
poured Darjeeling for my mother,
and proposed that I, freed
from the tea table, commune
with knick knacks in her drawing room.
One beguiling item on her wall
        was a small silk panel with a scene
        of Chinese mountains and,
        suspended in the azure skies, a line
        of intricate, illegible signs.
My hostess smilingly
        confided what one guest 
        from the Far East had revealed
        about the meaning of the characters:  
        VENIDA HAIRNETS ARE THE BEST.
Her drawing room has disappeared.
        So has the brownstone home
        and all of State Street as it was.
        The silken mountains remain
        under silken skies.
“We made our bed. We ought
        to lie in it.”  These old slats
  have collapsed 
  into a mass of scraps. 
  Should we lie in that?
“Look. If you lie 
        where you want to,
        and I somewhere else, 
        others will suffer. 
        People worth their salt
        don’t do these things.” Oh? 
  And what if you and I are not
  worth our salt?
“He’s right,” she thought. 
  “If we ever had a single grain
        between us, 
        it has lost its savor.”
All of the above
        is water under the bridge
        now. She waits down- 
        stream with her net 
        in case a talking trout
        floats by
        or a bottle with a note.
She has never used the phrase mental anguish. 
        Now, on this February morning in Ann Arbor,  
        coached by a lawyer, she utters 
        the term before a judge 
        who declares her marriage over. 
Later, the Anguish-Maker 
        comes to see her, thanks her
        for completing the procedure, 
        informs her of his own near future—  
        a woman whose name is familiar
and a wedding on the last day of February. 
        Leap Day! a time for magic spells.  
        When she hears his kind parting words—I hope
   you find someone, Sarah—she knows
        she’ll be alone from now on.
“Never!” he mutters, 
        as he squirms in his summer pajamas.
        I wait by the bedside
        to exchange our usual kiss.
         
        He waits to hear me
        unsay what he heard 
        today from the man 
        known, up to now, as Dad:
        
              I’ll come to see you.
              You’ll come to see us, 
              her and me. 
              You’ll like her.
Years later, the grown-ups are forgiven, 
        more or less, but he has kept the promise spoken 
        that night through gritted teeth: 
  “I will never, ever have children.”
    clipped a coupon from his comic book, 
        taped a portion of his savings to the back,
        and mailed the whole affair to Plains
        River, Indiana. Soon,
          
        it came—the Genuine 
        Giant Weather Balloon,
        a black elastic sack we filled 
        with vacuum cleaner air 
        until it grew more grand 
        and round than anything he owned. 
We let it out into the yard like a pet 
        and watched it bounce—blup!—
        against the patio concrete—blup! blup!—
        against a spiky shrub—whap! 
        The thing collapsed. 
Owen ran 
        to his room. I followed, 
        found him calm on the lower bunk—
        a kid of seven, pronouncing a maxim
        worthy of the Dalai Lama:
    I guess it’s a mistake  
             to get attached to a balloon.
“Spilled Milk Poems” is the title of an unpublished collection by Sarah White, whose most recent published works are “The Unknowing Muse” (Dos Madres, 2014) and “Wars Don’t Happen Anymore” (Deerfield Editions, 2015). A former Professor of French, she lives, writes, and paints on Manhattan’s Upper West Side.