http://www.albany.edu/offcourse 
         http://offcourse.org
         ISSN 1556-4975
		
Published by Ricardo and Isabel Nirenberg since 1998
Some are interred in padded manila 
        envelopes or snug boxes that quality reams 
        of print paper were once swaddled in.  
        Their cut and stitched remains 
        are occasionally exhumed for private 
        perusing then respectfully returned 
        to their pullout vaults.  
Some are strangled with produce 
        rubber bands and flung face down 
        and naked without a prayer into the mass 
        graves of deep filing drawers—shovelfuls 
        of second novels tossed on top—forgotten 
        tax returns become grave markers. 
        And years later in a first novel plot one of these
        was dug up at midnight by its intoxicated author—
        a grave robber by lantern light—dragged 
        to a backyard firepit while the village slept 
        and unceremoniously cremated.
I want to believe canyon flowers
        on the rim caught your eye—perhaps 
        the white petals of a cliffrose in bloom.  
        Perhaps you thought how can something
        so beautiful live so dangerously?
        So you got down on your hands and knees, 
        then sprawled out on your belly, and crawled toward 
        all those white petals that summoned
        you to come, come to the edge, come get a closer look.  
        And I want to believe you were smiling.  
        Your dark beard sweeping
        the Arizona soil as you crawled—
        and I want to believe when you stretched 
        over the edge, your fingertips were able
        to at least reach a solitary petal.
        I’m sitting at my desk knocking a pen against my cheek,
        thinking how my muse served me with divorce papers 
        this humid afternoon.  The wall clock’s click-clack,
         
        click-clack, click-clack is becoming more and more
        distracting.  Then I visualize a bomb squad in protective
        gear sweating behind the clock between the studs.
Then the clock’s obnoxious click-clacking is disarmed as a neighbor 
        kid sputters by full throttle on his minibike.  Then a poem begins 
      to arrive, I think.  This time the poem is arriving as a gorgeous 
Vietnamese woman driving a blue motorbike.  She is arriving 
        in a long red dress.  Her waist-length black hair is blowing 
        behind her as if from the force of a slow motion explosion. 
         
        Then my empty suburban street beyond my desk 
        becomes a chaotic street in Saigon, circa late 1960s.  
        Now here I come, arriving as an American soldier—
an army private—in uniform.  I don’t want to be there.  
        But I’m there, and I can’t desert.  Standing alone.  No.  
        Wait.  Not alone.  Too Dangerous.  I’m with another 
army private, Private Perfect Teeth with Acne.  
        I think he’s a farm boy from Nebraska.
        The Vietnamese beauty has us in the booby trap
         
        of her beauty.  Should I let her wave to us as she arrives?  No!
        Why?  Because she’s reaching between her legs.  She’s 
        groping for something between her legs.  Something
         
        about her smile.  As she arrives Private Perfect Teeth with Acne 
        is pulled toward her.  Her motorbike begins to swerve.  She’s still 
        pawing between her legs.  The front tire veers but she’s still
         
        smiling.  Halt!  I begin to step back.  Step away.  Something’s wrong 
        with her smile.  I try to grab hold of Private Perfect Teeth with Acne.  
        But he steps in her incoming path.  I can’t shout.  My lungs 
are empty.  My heart’s now pounding on the tunnel walls of my throat.  
        Wait!  No!  You poor ignorant boy from Iowa—no, I mean Nebraska.  
        Stop!  No!  And just as she slows down and pulls up
         
        to Private Perfect Teeth with Acne, I try to turn.  Try to flee,
        but I can’t move.  My boots are impaled on punji sticks.  She pulls
        something from between her legs.  God, no!  She slows to a toddler’s
trot and tosses it to Private Perfect Teeth with Acne.  He extends
        both hands, palms out, as if he’s trying to catch a bad pitch behind
        home plate.  My eyes are nearly closed.  I begin to raise my hands
to protect my face.  And I see Private Perfect Teeth with Acne 
        catch a brilliant flower—it’s a white orchid!  The beauty blows 
        him a kiss.  Shoots him a smile.  Then she grabs the handle bars
         
        with both hands and swerves on her way toward the north.
        Another poem has arrived, I think.  Yes!
        Another poem has arrived.
They repeat the words of an acquaintance,
        One experienced in matters of loss:
        People have to suffer, but our dogs don’t.
        The words now calling as if unleashed
        In some cavernous kennel drenched in darkness.
        But how the story goes there should be a new
        Dawn way down at the exit gate.
        Just follow the scent to Justification Junction,
        Go left, and simply keep going and going.
        They want to believe the exit exists, 
        And beyond the gate paradise resembles 
        Their fenced-in backyard with a sunlit
        Breeze curling up in the oak leaves, 
        The trellises sniffing the honeysuckles,
        A scatter of squirrels, a hymn of birds.
        And they want to believe that just beyond 
        The golden treasure markers of pee-stained grass, under
        The aging silver maple, the happiest 
        Tail in the afterlife wags.
        But for now they embrace in their morning room,
        Still careful not to spill the empty water bowl
      In the shadowless corner.
Steven M. Smith’s poems have appeared in publications such as Rattle, Poem, Old Red Kimono, Plainsongs, Poetrybay, Ibbetson Street Press, Studio One, The River, Cabildo Quarterly, Better Than Starbucks, Hole in the Head Review, and Mudfish. He has poetry forthcoming in The Worcester Review and The Writing Disorder. He is the Writing Center director at the State University of New York at Oswego. He lives in North Syracuse, New York.