http://www.albany.edu/offcourse 
         http://offcourse.org
         ISSN 1556-4975
		
Published by Ricardo and Isabel Nirenberg since 1998
You quit your day job delivering 
          mail to deliver music—troubadouring 
          through the seasons with a guitar 
          strapped over your shoulder 
          like a mailbag laden with fifty
          years of songs.  Music became your 
          civic duty.  Today is Good Friday.  
          It has been three days since COVID-19 silenced  
          you and left us kneeling in front of your songs.  
          Sometimes—still sheltered-in-place—
          we stare out our closed windows 
          and feel a bit closer to you as we 
          watch the viral clouds of this April  
          still spewing shards of glass.  
          We have borrowed your blue umbrella—
          and placed it on the shoulder of the world.
          Have you started your heavenly agenda?
          If so, we have a favor to ask.  
          When you get to the tilt-a-whirl, will you
        give that pretty girl a kiss for us, too?
Be very thankful if you are shorter than
          the “You Must Be This Tall to Ride” 
          sign at life’s amusement park.  For that boney
          pervert over there in the cloak—the one leaning 
          against the fortune teller machine, the one
          watching you with a stare as hollow as eternity, 
          the one stroking the blade on his exposed 
          scythe like there is no tomorrow—might be
        patiently waiting for a growth spurt.
After the poets ate and had drinks,
          they just stood around in couplets
          or quatrains with their hands in their prosodies.
          Then one of the older poets, a widower, 
          the one sneaking sips from a flask of free verse all 
          afternoon, made a spondaic remark about someone’s assonance.
          And the response was this: “Take your
          itty-bitty cacophony and go enjamb 
          it—you oxymoronic cliché!”
          Someone spewed some dirty limericks
          to lighten the moment.  And then one
          of the younger single poets started laughing
          so hard she went onomatopoeia
          in her yoga shorts.
          Blank verse accented the faces of some.  
          Trite rhymes nervously spilled 
          from the lips of others.
          Many began scanning their smartphones.
          And someone started drafting a dirge.
          It was only half past hyperbole—the sun 
        was still high above the horizon’s heroic drama— 
but the picnic was over.
          You grab a red basket on wheels 
          with the telescopic pull handle.  
          Shopping carts are too clunky 
          to navigate the aisles with those 
          display boxes arranged like barrier 
          boulders.  As you enter the hardware aisles, 
          a rubber mallet starts thumping 
          in your chest cavity.  You are now 
          breathing as if your face is covered 
          with a respirator for sanding drywall.  
          Here comes an associate in a red vest, 
          a name tag lanyard clipped to the chest pocket.  
          You refuse help.  (Only amateur do-it-yourselfers 
          let on they need assistance in hardware!)  Ooh, 
          peek in the drawers of carriage bolts, 
          split washers, lock nuts, lag screws!  Ah, 
          pull the sample cabinet doorknobs bolted 
          to their plastic bins!  Then slip fingers 
          inside the special-order drawer pulls 
          attached to the display wall, and give them 
          a gentle tug!  Whisper to all the boxes 
          of exterior deck screws.  Let them know 
          how you would like to attach them 
          to your new case of assorted drill bits!  
          Pinch the endless packages of assorted 
          drywall anchors!  Squeeze the countless 
          plastic bags of eye hooks winking 
          from their shelf hangers! You start to get 
          lightheaded.  Anxious sweat on your 
          face feels like the overspray from garage 
          door lubricant.  Your legs are a pair 
          of overused bungee cords.  With the manners 
          of a bent reciprocating saw blade, you zigzag 
          cut your way from the hardware department 
          and meet your wife over in patio furniture.  
          You need to rest a moment.  Controlled deep breaths.  
        Then ask her what you even came in for!
Steven M. Smith tells us: my poems have appeared in Offcourse, as well as publications such as The American Journal of Poetry, The Meadow, The Worcester Review, Rattle, Ibbetson Street Press, Better Than Starbucks, and Mudfish. My first book of poems, Strongman Contest, was recently released by Kelsay Books. I am the Writing Center director at the State University of New York at Oswego. I live in North Syracuse, New York.