http://www.albany.edu/offcourse 
         http://offcourse.org
         ISSN 1556-4975
		
Published by Ricardo and Isabel Nirenberg since 1998
the girl who sat to my right
          in fourth grade, who I liked
          to cheat off on history tests,
          her hairy arm trying to hide
          the answers, like 1620,
          Tecumseh, Gettysburg.
          She never used an eraser.
          Polio turned her into a scarecrow
          stuffed with useless facts,
          the nun assigning me to help 
          with her leg braces,
          metal and leather straps,
          black and white saddle shoes,
          what she called them,
          like she was ever going to ride a horse,
          but when she finished her tests,
          she never turned the paper over
          like we were supposed to,
          just placed her pencil in the groove,
          folded her hairy arms in front,
          and I saw the Monroe Doctrine,
          Millard Fillmore, Manifest Destiny.
One day, as I stared at her empty seat,
          kids talked about that girl,
          Susan, trying to outrun a ball
          rolling across Duss Avenue,
          how the car stopped
          after knocking her out
          of her leg braces
          and those shoes I tied a thousand times.
          That year no one sat in her seat,
          but I sharpened her pencil.
          I did that for her, too,
          without being told.
In the lexicon of a fifteen-year-old,
          banal did not exist,
          my vocabulary boiling over
          with words like wet dream,
          Ivanhoe, space, shit, words
          like that, me out of favor
          with Dad because 
          I don’t know why
          perhaps because my Saxon friends 
          irritated his sense of propriety, 
          allegiance to the country
          I guess
          the America I would fight for
          in the coming years
          where my Saxon friends died
          in the Vietnam Crusades and I
          returned guilty of the life sentence
          I would lead without them
          where wet dreams dried up
          me marrying and four kids who fought
          for my favor, boys I could not control
          I don’t know why
          a bunch of Normans plundering
          like a bunch of Normans
          taking my youth in their hands
          as they scattered like a shotgun
          my wife following
          to a neutral corner of Wyoming
          and I remain to talk it out
          with a therapist
          with a crumpled press hat
          from her father on the desk
          along with a teeth-marked pencil
          how she introduced me to the banal
          how it rose like Lazarus
          who thought life ended
          but how he had to live all over again
        all over again.
Buckhannon, WV. MFA National University. Current work appears in Literary Yard, Agape, and New Verse News. In Spring 2022, Main Street Rag published a novella of poetry entitled, After the Lynching.